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Nov 012017

How do you like your bush?  Neatly trimmed?  A triangle or a runway?  Completely clean shaven?  Or absent entirely?  Have you ever thought about it?

So many young women and men feel pressured to remove their body hair.  Modern media and the porn industry depict sexuality with hairlessness, but this wasn’t always the case.

Body hair is a symbol of maturity, of our capacity to make new life.  Biologically, our body hair collects and releases pheromones, the chemicals that signal sexual readiness and evoke powerful responses in our partners.  Our current obsession with the hairless vulva is a reflection of modern media and public opinion more than any real understanding of sexuality.  And this isn’t a consideration for women alone.  It’s currently come into vogue for men to remove all pubic hair as well.  If you enjoy the feel of your body without hair, amazing.  The biggest question is one of motivation.  Are you grooming your body the way you like, or the way you will expect others to like it?

How do you enjoy your body?  How do you like to feel?  Is your regimen regarding body hair based upon what you want or what you feel others want of you?  Do you shave, wax, or apply depilatories because you like to be free of hair, or do you do it because you feel that this is the way to be sexy, to be accepted by others?

When it comes down to it, personal grooming is a personal choice.  It should be something you like.  You have every right to groom yourself to fit the way that you like to feel.  Anyone else’s opinions are secondary, if they even merit consideration at all.

Just to dispel some of the myths that have arisen around our personal grooming, the clean shaven vulva is neither sexier nor more hygienic than the glorious full bush.  Both are beautiful, as is anything in between.  The same applies to men.  Removing our pubic hair can offer a sleek, smooth finish, but it also removes one of the most tangible signs of masculinity and virility.  On a practical level, if we enjoy anal play, a bit of body scaping can clear the path.  But practical concerns aside, our body hair is one of the most intimate aspects of our appearance.  It is a reflection of our most personal choices, how we would like to maintain the sacred space of our bodies.  And there is no one outside of ourselves who can tell us what is right for us.

When it comes right down to it, we are each looking for a person who can see us and love us for who we are.  Without masks or games, without expectations or roles.  And this extends to even the most personal aspects of how we present ourselves to one another and to the world.  What we all want is a person who can see our beauty, regardless of cultural conditioning or societal expectations.  And yet, the only way we can know we’ve found such a connection is to do what we love most, on every level, and see how our preferences are received.

So what do you prefer?  If you love to shave or wax, amazing.  Do what you feel.  And yet, if you’re only going through these challenges to appease a man or fit in with some cultural image, have a bit of a think about it.  One of the simplest and most eloquent ways for us to take our power back is to determine how we would like to treat and maintain our bodies.  And anyone who is worth keeping around in our lives will both respect and love us for exactly what we like.  What do you like?

Sep 012017

Erotic spanking is one of the most natural ways to enter the world of BDSM.  It’s a great way to bring a new sensation into an intimate experience, to introduce a bit of playful pain and heighten the experience of pleasure.  And it’s easy.  All you need is a hand and a buttock and you’re in business.

The ass is a delightful erogenous zone and a bit of playful spanking can leave your lover dripping with excitement.  Spanking stimulates the nerve endings and increases the blood flow, sending waves of endorphins through the body.  With a few light taps, you can vary the sensations of your sensual play and make every touch more exquisite.  Here are all the tips you need to begin your sensual journey into impact play.

A Word on Safety

Before any impact play, it’s important to address safety issues.  The first thing to remember is that all healthy sensual play is consensual.  Talk about your limits beforehand and arrange safe words that you can use when things stray beyond your boundaries.  The beautiful thing about this pre-play discussion is that it heightens the anticipation and can make anything that follows even more delicious.  At, at the very least, it ensures that you have good communication so your needs and boundaries are honoured.

Pay special attention to where you’re spanking.  The sweet spots are the meaty areas of the buttocks and upper thighs.  Avoid the tailbone or higher up the back near the kidneys, as these areas might be injured with impact.  You might want to practice your aim on a pillow or sofa to make sure your swats land where you want them to in the heat of the moment.  And, if you’re using implements like canes or paddles, try them out on yourself first so you know the intensity firsthand.

One delightful tip is to consider the frequency of your strikes. Too many blows in one place or too quickly can be painful – and not in the good way.  Try to keep at least three seconds between strikes and vary where they land.  You want to keep things exciting rather than stray into the territory of discomfort.

If your play has left a few bruises, don’t be surprised.  It happens from time to time.  Just treat the area with ice for 20-30 minutes after the play is done.  If you play with multiple partners, make sure to sanitise your implements thoroughly after play.  Also, don’t overdo it.  You don’t want to desensitise the butt or cause the skin to toughen.

The Warm-Up

With any sensual play it’s important to ease into things.  You might be hot and ready just thinking about your sensual play, but you don’t want to jump out of the gate at 60 miles per hour.  Give your lover some time to let the excitement rise.  The body needs to be prepared for anything more intense, so start slow and let things build.

A spanking can feel delicious on many parts of the body, but one of the best is the ass.  When spanking the ass, you open up the blood vessels and excite the nerve endings of the genitals.  This can heighten the pleasure of any sensation that follows.  Some other areas include the hands, feet, shoulder blades, and the breasts or pecs.  If you do choose to bring your spanking into these regions, remember to keep it light and use a flogger.

The key to getting started is to massage the area to get the blood flowing.  Rub the area with a circular motion and squeeze lightly.  You’ll want your touch nice and warm, so rub the hands together lightly before you begin.  After you lightly rub and tickle the skin to get the sensation going, spank four times, giving a bit of genital stimulation between each blow.  Cup the hand slightly and spank with an upward motion, lifting and exciting the flesh with each strike.  Once you’ve excited the area and warmed it up, you can add a fifth, more forceful slap.

Now that your lover is good and excited, it’s time to step it up a notch.

Assume the Position!

Each position offers its own flavour to the sensual experience.  First, make sure you’re both comfortable.  The more relaxed you are, the more pleasurable the sensations will be.  The most traditional positions are over the knee and lying down.  Lying down is one of the best positions for beginners, as it will allow you to remain relaxed throughout your play.  To provide a bit of cushion and give you both a lift, slide a pillow under the hips.  Over the knee is great to offer a bit of easy restraint.  It’s an ideal position for short range implements and a bit of kinky role play.

If you’re spanking an area other than the buttocks, a restrained or standing position may be preferable.  Restraints can be exciting all in themselves, and they can help to keep the bottom firmly in place as it receives your attention.  Standing is good for those that want to keep the play light, as it is less painful than bent over or lying down.  You’ll want to play carefully, as movement could affect the accuracy of the blows.  For those that would like to get really excited, spanking while doggy-style stretches the muscles and nerve endings, making the sensations much more intense.

The Tools of the Trade

There are a number of different tools that can be brought into your impact play, and each offers their own unique sensation.  Each implement varies in strength and intensity, so you have a wide range of choice to tailor your sensation to your desires.

The first and most obvious implement is the hand.  This is best for beginners, as it is less painful than other implements and you will be better able to feel the intensity of the strikes, moderating it to your lover’s pleasure.  The hand produces a thudding sensation and is unlikely to leave lasting welts or bruises.

Moving up, we have the flogger, a whip-like handle with a number of thick/thin tails. There are many variations to the flogger, and each leaves their own distinct marks.  Fluffy floggers are light and soft, while the leather variety offers a bit more intensity.  Explore to see which one you like best. Next, there’s the riding crop. This is a long, flexible rod with a bit of leather on the end for striking. Even the slightest motion can offer quite a sting and will leave an impressive bruise, so be careful.

The next tool on the list is the paddle.  This is less sever that the long range implements, but can still leave quite a mark.  The feeling of the paddle is similar to a hand, but a bit more intense.  Moving up in intensity, we have the cane.  Canes give a sharp, stinging sensation and is likely to leave marks and thin bruises.  It’s easy to control, but be carful not to overdo it.

Tawses and straps are the tools that deliver the most force.  They are heavy strips of leather with handles.  The main difference between them is the the tawse is split into a couple of tails.  The length and amount of these tails can vary from one tawse to the next.  These offer an intense and thudding pain that reddens the skin and is certain to leave an impression.

Whips are beautiful punishment devices and a delightful addition to any dom’s collection.  They give a quick, sharp sting and leave long thin welts.  The use of a whip can be quite an art, so make sure you practice before bringing it into your sensual play. Remember to vary the frequency and placement of your strikes, and it can be exciting to alternate each blow with pleasurable sensations.


After a bit of punishment, the sub can feel tender in a few ways.  Physically, it helps to use the spanked area, soothing it and letting the sensations fade.  On a deeper level, the sub can slip into “sub space” during punishment play.  This is an altered state of consciousness that heightens sensation and leaves the sub in a dreamy, unfocused place.  The chemical rush can be so intense that it will leave some subs a blubbering wreck.  Make sure to ease their re-entry into reality with beautiful, loving attention.  Give them time to come back slowly, and they will love the experience from beginning to end.

Last Words

It can be amazing to bring impact play into the bedroom, but take it slow.  Ease into the exploration, making sure that both parties love every moment of our journey.  Have fun and find out how exciting it can be!

 Erotic Massage Sydney  Comments Off on The erotic art of spanking: a beginner’s guide to the world of impact play
Aug 012017

What images come to your mind when you hear BDSM?  For most people, the answer is whips and chains, blindfolds and paddles.  Those who view it from the outside might assume that BDSM is weird and abusive.  This couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s about trust

At its core, BDSM is about trust.  It’s about letting go of control, surrendering to a caring lover, and being held in a space of vulnerability.  And the really juicy thing about it is that it can be incredibly exciting and erotic.  In letting go completely and trusting a partner, we can move into a space of exhilaration and delicious sensation that is as healing as it is intimate and sensual.

There are many forms of sensory play that fall under the heading of BDSM.  We can move into a space of power-play or domination and submission, where one partner surrenders control to the other.  We can use spanking or flogging to bring intense sensations into our play, bringing in an element of sadomasochism.  Restraints might be introduced, bringing us into the realm of bondage and discipline.  All of this can be described as BDSM, and yet each offers its own unique sensation and emotion to the sensual experience.

Just another way to play

Those who have never dipped into the world of kink often feel that BDSM is perverted, that it involves objectifying or dehumanising your partner.  If you’ve experienced it, though, you know that this is one of the most intimate, nurturing, and loving ways that we can relate to one another.  In many ways, it can be more intimate than conventional sexuality.  The play is arranged in advance with clear, intimate communication, given a container which allows the play to be fulfilling for all involved, and inviting a deep and unique erotic bond.  Communication and trust are key elements in BDSM, more so even than in the more “vanilla” forms of intimate and sensual play.

Power play, sensory play, and bondage are far more common than many realise, and those who bring kink into the bedroom are just as healthy and normal as those with a more conventional approach to sex.  In fact, studies have shown that those who have brought BDSM into their sexual experiences tend to have a higher sense of self-esteem, a clearer understanding of their needs and desires, and a greater capacity to communicate these desires, both in and out of the bedroom.

Never abusive

BDSM is about surrender, about letting go of control and moving into feeling.  Beyond the head, beyond story and judgment, and into a place of sensuality and release.  It touches upon the element of power, which is deeply erotic and enticing from many angles.  And, though pain might be brought into the play, it’s done from a consensual, ethical, and nurturing space rather than one of abuse.  When coming from a loving and caring space, bondage, power play, or sensory play can incredibly heighten the excitement of intimacy.  Rather than being abusive, the limits are always clearly defined beforehand and carefully controlled.  This creates a safe space for our deep, juicy, and naughty desires to be explored.

Safe words

One thing that it’s helpful to understand about BDSM is that there is a theatrical element to it.  We get to play out scenes and fantasies that have been charged with excitement and desire, exploring them in a healthy and deeply erotic way.  This is the reason that safe words are used.  Safe words are neutral signals that a sub (submissive) can use to stop the play.  They allow fantasies to be played out where the sub begs for the play to stop, secure in the knowledge that it will continue so long as it remains juicy and exciting.

Subs are in charge

Another aspect of BDSM which could be a bit counterintuitive for those viewing it from a distance is that the subs are actually in charge.  They arrange clear limits beforehand based on their own personal boundaries and have the capacity to stop the play immediately with the safe word.  The observance of these limits is in the nature of a trust, and it forms the foundation of the play.  The Dom, or dominant, may act like they are in charge, but their role is to be caring and nurturing, deeply tuned in to the needs and desires of the sub throughout the course of the play.  This creates an environment where we can experiment with power and surrender from a safe and healthy space.  What’s more, playing with power in this way can be intensely erotic and exciting.


One vital element that BDSM really brings to the surface is intimacy.  Intimacy is something different from sex.  It is clear, authentic, emotional communication.  And to be truly intimate, we have to be vulnerable.  We can be sexual without being intimate and vice versa.  But it’s the intimate space that’s both truly healing and is the source of healthy arousal.  BDSM requires honest, ongoing discussion, before the play begins, throughout it, and afterwards.

Openly expressing our sexual desires and curiosities requires a certain degree of vulnerability that is in itself healing.  In being received in this space, we learn to trust, to communicate, to accept both ourselves and the other more fully.  These skills deepen our relationships and clear away the barriers that keep us from embracing our sensual nature.  And the beautiful thing is that when we move from this space, our quality of life improves on every level, both in the bedroom and in other areas of life.

Jul 032017

We live in a busy world.  Lots of pressures, lots of demands, and it can be easy to get caught in a cycle.  Rushing from one thing to the next, and thinking about what’s ahead the whole time.  On top of that, since we were young, we’ve been surrounded by “shoulds” and “ought tos”, things that are ok, and things that aren’t.

The result, all too often, is that we live in our heads.  Focused on something in the future rather than what’s right here in front of us.  Thinking, planning, strategising, making stories.  Worrying about things that haven’t happened and might never happen.  About what we should do or say.  Playing games and roles, sometimes without ever realising that we’re going through the motions.  Wearing masks even in front of ourselves.  And cutting off that sense of feeling which makes life meaningful, joyful, exciting, and truly worth living.

This is what I love about tantra, about Bondassage, about holding space for others to move into a greater depth of feeling.  It happens naturally, as soon as we allow ourselves to slow down.  Once we let go of what the future might bring, even for just a moment, once we start to tune into our sensations, our feelings, a huge weight begins to ease off, one that we might not even have realised we were carrying around.

It goes deeper, too.  So often we’re taught that our desires are wrong.  That we shouldn’t feel this, shouldn’t want that.  But making our feelings and desires wrong doesn’t make them go away.  They are a part of us, signals from within that guide us to fulfil our needs, to step into the joy and vitality life has to offer us.

Tantra is a practice of allowing, accepting, of coming to feel that all parts of us are welcome in this moment, and in each moment.  And, though there might be some understandings connected with it, the core of the process is feeling.  Getting into the body, getting present, using the most sensual aspect of our experience as a medium for moving past our judgment of ourselves, for moving into acceptance on the deepest level, in this moment and each moment.

When we’re living in our heads, in the future, stuck in intellect and judgment, we get tight.  We contract, closing our feelings down, both emotionally and in the body.  But a beautiful, conscious, sensual experience can help us to open up, to let the tightness ease off, and to begin feeling again.  Emotions that have been bottled up for ages come flooding out.  Tensions that we’ve been holding in our bodies slip away, and a sense of peaceful presence comes in that makes every aspect of life more enjoyable, richer and more dynamic.

Our natural state is orgasmic, filled with joy and gratitude for all the richness and beauty of the moment.  And the key to coming back is feeling, allowing, accepting.  Opening up to allow all that life to offer us to come in.  And it’s easy, really.  Fun.  Juicy.  Exciting.  The deepest and most lasting gift we can give ourselves is the willingness to show up for ourselves, right now.  Right here.  To drop our judgment and control, and simply allow our feeling sense of guide the way.

Jun 012017

This is a topic that’s close to my heart, one that I’m glad to be able to share with you.  One reason is that on the surface, tantra and BSDM might be seen as completely different ways of exploring ourselves and our sexuality.  Another is that there’s a hunger for this knowledge in the BDSM world, a desire to understand how to take our play further, how to make it whole, healing, and spiritual.

When kink is brought up, it might conjure images of whips and chains, or more extreme forms of power play.  And tantra, though also associated with sex, might seem even more mysterious and taboo.  Where is the intersection point?  Are they even related at all?

In a word: yes.  Intimately.  BDSM and tantra are both deep explorations of ourselves, ways to unlock our sensual, sexual natures.  They each help us to move past the surface values of life and bring in more energy, more awareness, more expansion, and more bliss.

The key is feeling.  Really feeling.  Getting out of our heads and into our bodies, tuning in to the subtle levels of sensation and energy that race through our beings.  Tantra tends to explore this from the level of energy.  Breath, sound, and motion.  How energy builds and moves within us, and how to move with it.  And to do this, we need to surrender.  To truly let go, and to allow the body, the sensation, and the feeling to guide us.  And, once we can surrender and tune in, we begin to tap into a level of vitality, joy, confidence, and authenticity that we never expected possible, and one that extends to every level of life.

And what about BDSM?  It’s a process of surrender.  It’s a way to play with all levels of sensation, building energy and feeling in the body.  We play with all forms of touch – strokes and feather-light touches, light to hard strokes, temperature, pressure of all forms and varieties, different sensations over the entire body.  Kink and sensory play give us the opportunity to touch consciously, directed by the energy, tuned in to one another and to the sensation on the deepest level.

One of my favourite ways of working with this is through Bondassage.  Restraints play with trust and surrender.  They help us to let go, to drop all thought of performance and simply be with the feeling.  Any form of restraint with a loving, conscious partner can be deeply healing, allowing us to move past the chronic need to do and control, helping us to drop fully into the present moment.  Blindfolds allow us to release the need to see, the need to know what’s happening and to engage on a mental level.  The receiver’s awareness is brought to the sensations rising within and playing across the body, no need to act, to perform, to plan, to do.  Surrender and feel.  Just Be.

Also, any form of BDSM is just as much an art of presence for the conscious, caring giver as it is for the receiver.  To provide amazing sensual experiences to a partner, we have to tune in to them on the deepest level, to follow the energy within ourselves, and to observe how it moves within them.

This is the core of tantra.  It is an exploration of our energy, unlocking feelings, expanding awareness, coming into the moment, and following where it leads.  Dropping out of the mind and into the heart, into the body.

Any time we listen within, tuning into the sensation and allowing ourselves to move with it, we are stepping into a tantric way of being.  We are tapping into our subtle energies, our Shakti force, our Chi, the creative force at the core of our beings. This is a deeply healing and vitalising experience.  It’s a movement beyond form or expectation and into an exquisite, organic dance of energy, feeling, and life.

May 022017

Maybe you’ve had a desire or two hanging around in the corner of your mind, a little something naughty that might be fun to explore.  But when’s the right time to bring it up?  When is it right to step outside our routines and bring a bit more excitement into our relationships and lives?  The answer: now.  Every moment is a chance to start something new.  Each moment is an opportunity to set out on an adventure, think outside the box, and explore something you’ve been wanting to experience.

It’s time to take stock of those hidden desires and taboo pleasures to see how we can bring a new spark into our relationships.  The beautiful thing is that you don’t need to be a bondage expert to give an amazing bondassage session.  Just give it a go, tap into some imagination and get a basic understanding around your partner’s needs and desires.  Explore some tools you’d like to bring into the sensual play, get started, and away you go!

You can offer your partner a whole range of different sensual touches with just what you have around the house.  The flat of a hairbrush is beautiful for a little light spanking, or a touch harder if that’s where the energy wants to go.  And a light stroke with a toothbrush or the tines of a fork can send chills throughout the whole body.  The drape of a light scarf along the skin can be exquisite.  And bringing fruit or chocolate into the bedroom can be deliciously exciting.  Just think about how it might feel to have passionfruit drizzled over your body and then sensually licked off with your lover’s tongue.  So challenge yourself to look around, do a little kinky brainstorming, and see what you come up with together.  Even just having the conversation around the things you’d like to bring into your sensual play can be enough to get the blood boiling.

And, if you’re having some trouble thinking of some new ways to play, you can get a book and read it together, following the instructions at first, and then seeing where things want to go.  There’s a range of beautiful works on the subject, and even exploring what you can find together is a great way to explore new ideas and open the floor to share some secret desires with your partner.  Some of my favourite pieces to explore with a lover are The Art of Sexual Ecstasy by Margo Anand and Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas.  Both are sensual and thrilling, perfect for a couple to begin their exploration of bondage and sensual play.

Of course, if you’d like to fast track your way to picking up juicy new things to share in the bedroom, you can always find a practitioner of the sensual arts.  This can be exciting to share in its own way, and a luscious gift to the relationship.  All it really takes is to get started, tune in to your own needs and desires, and listen to your partner share their own.  Once you get going, you’ll find new ideas coming thick and fast, and this brings in a whole new level of exciting exploration into the partnership.

So, what would you like to experience?  And what would you like to share with your partner?  What juicy new sensual adventures can you set out on together?  Just challenge yourself to think outside the box and bring in some imagination, and you’ll be amazed how thrilling things can get!

Apr 012017

It’s time to debunk a myth that some of us have picked up: sex is not simply for the young.  In fact, it can continue to be fulfilling throughout life.  Even more, sex can improve with age!  And it might have once been taboo to be open with our sexual nature, but those days are gone.  At any age it’s beautiful to share openly and playfully, relating needs and desires to a partner and opening the door for them to share as well.

Some think that desire diminishes with age, but this isn’t the case.  Certainly there are changes that happen in the body.  It might take more time to reach full arousal and to become fully lubricated.  But who’s rushing?  One of the beauties of entering our golden years is that we have more time.  The kids have grown up, the work is behind us, and we can move into our sensual play without distractions or interruptions.

Once we’re older, we know our bodies better.  We know what works for us and what doesn’t.  Sex can be great when you’re younger, but it’s often driven mostly by hormones.  As we get older, sharing of sensual play is more emotional fulfilling, a way to rekindle the passion in a long marriage or deepen a beautiful new relationship.  Also, once we have a bit of life experience under our belt, we tend to let go of ideas about performance and expectation, letting ourselves be really present to the experience.  Most older men know that there’s plenty more to do in the bedroom than just intercourse, and they love to please, to savour the experience, touch, kiss, lick, and caress.  And for older women, the body is often even more sensitive after menopause.  Orgasms can become even more intense than they were in the younger years.

One thing that should be mentioned is that taboos are out the window.  Having more time and more desire means that we have a chance to explore all those things we never experienced before.  Toys, tying, and spanking, role-play and dirty talk.  Openly expressing our sexuality is something exciting and bold.  There’s an entire world of kink to discover, and it’s all fun, exciting, deliciously naughty, and perfectly acceptable.  At any age.

Dating is also something without age limits.  It might take a bit of courage once we get older to step out into the dating game, but online dating services and dating apps are great to close the gap and meet people open to connecting and excited to explore a new relationship.  Society no longer frowns upon older women dating younger men.  Friends with benefits can be deeply exciting and fulfilling.  There are no real boundaries other than those we create for ourselves.

One of the best things about staying sexually active as we get older is that it makes us healthier and happier.  Sex burns fat, improves physical and emotional healthy, increases lifespan, and improves our relationships.  There are no downsides.  It’s beautiful to really own your sexuality, no matter how many years you’ve been on the planet.  So open up, enjoy, and let the later years bring in the best love life you’ve ever had.

Mar 032017

I had a beautiful experience recently.  I attended the Sydney Festival of Really Good Sex, and while roaming through the festival, I came across a workshop called Foot Pampering and Foot Fetish by Mynx and Kinta.  This definitely caught my attention, as my feet have always been a sensual and erotic spot for me.

The workshop gave me the opportunity to experience bastinado, a form of impact play where the sub’s feet are whipped.  I offer this service to my clients, but this was the first time that I received a session myself.  Experiencing it first-hand brought it to the next level for me.  I found that I love to have my feet paddled, and that I could handle quite a bit more pain than I initially thought.  More than that, it was exciting, in that tingly, wake up the senses and get the little shivers of delight going sort of way.

The session began with a foot wash and sensual massage, and my partner at the time was delicate and present.  I really appreciated this as my feet are very sensitive.  I am the dominant in the sessions I offer, so it was delightful to let go and step into the submissive role.  I allowed myself to really give up control and be held, and my partner showed me through his attentiveness and gentleness that I was fully held.  I loved having someone take me by the feet, worship them.  That alone was beautiful.

After the massage, we moved on to the bastinado.  My partner began with light strokes, working with a thin paddle.  Like with most impact play, there were a number of implements on hand, different sizes of paddles and canes.  I thought the cane might be a bit much for me, and it turned out the thin paddle was perfect.  With each stroke, I gave my partner permission to go harder, loving the sensation zinging through my body each time the paddle struck.  I even loved the sound, a soft “thud” accompanying the bursts of feeling.

The feeling was sensual and deeply personal.  It’s impossible to really describe it, but I can say it felt amazing.  Each touch and strike left me wanting more.  About halfway through, Mistress Mynx came and took over the session.  She held my toes to keep from paddling them, and brought the intensity up slowly, becoming a bit more forceful with each paddle.  I allowed her to go rather hard, which surprised me.  In her expert hands, the pain become something truly sensual and deeply exciting.  I never realised I would enjoy it so much.  Mistress Mynx was pleased as well – she told me that I have very receptive feet.

The whole experience was enlightening and fun.  I found that bastinado play doesn’t have to equal pain, that it can be light and sensual as well.  It can be taken to whatever degree really turns you on.  I love exploring new things, and this one was surprisingly delicious.  We all have our kinks, and it’s amazing when we find one that really gets us going.  I’ve always had a foot fetish, but bastinado took it to another level. 

So, that was my first session, but it definitely won’t be my last.  And I’m even more excited to be sharing this with my clients as well, helping them to explore their kinks and providing new delight.

Happy bastinado, everyone!

Feb 012017

How many times a day do you check your email?  Facebook?  Text or answer texts?  Check the phone to see if anything new has come in?

It isn’t just the digital world that monopolises our attention.  Every time we turn around, something pops up that urgently demands our attention.  Something else to do, someone else to talk to.  Something to watch or listen to.  The frantic pace of things can keep us busy from the time we wake up in the morning until the moment we lay down for the night.

We have control over our response to the world, but often we can’t see it.  We get so swept up in the current of life’s demands that we go on autopilot, and sometimes just need to numb out so we don’t have to keep tuned in to the next thing we have to do.  Which is another distraction, another way to miss what’s really happening for us and within us.

But what if you could take an hour, two hours, a whole night, and just let go?  What if you didn’t have to do anything, didn’t have to respond to anyone, if you could just be for that time?  Time enough to sit with yourself and tune in.  Time enough to feel what’s coming up, and to let the swirl of thoughts slow down and still.

But that’s hard, right?  How could we just unplug and let the world move without jumping in to move it along?  We’re so programmed to keep moving that sometimes we actually need a little help in slowing down.  A little help in “being” instead of doing.  This is what lockdown is all about.

It’s an honour to offer the lockdown experience for my clients this year.  For those who would like help in letting go, in slowing down, in dropping that obsessive need to take control of life and the decisions of the moment, I create a space where you can just be.  You can surrender and take time out, nowhere to go, nothing to do.  Just Being.

We use control against ourselves so often in life.  Taking hold of all the myriad details, grabbing the tiger by the tail and holding on for dear life.  But all it does is wear us out.  An endless bid for control providing a fleeting illusion of security.  And since change is the only constant, it begins to escalate.  More time, more control, more effort spent distracting ourselves from those discomforts within until…  Wham!  We get sick, or get tired, or break down, or drop the ball.

There’s only one way around it.  Just stop.

The world won’t fall down around you.  And you’ll finally have the chance to tune in to you, to the only person you absolutely have to spend every moment of your life with.  At first, we strain against it.  We try to find something to occupy the attention.  We try to find some distraction to cling to.  But with time, the magical ingredient.  Things start to slow down.  We find ourselves relaxing.  We find a bit of space between the thoughts and relax into where we are.  Into the present and what’s happening for us right now.  We start to hear those little voices and insights that have been drowned out by the chaos, and things start to come into focus.

Life finally starts to come into focus when we let go.  And this is what I’m offering.  A bit of time to un-program the rush and the busy-ness.  To move into the eye of the hurricane and find the stillness we all crave, whether we know it or not.  Surrender is victory.

If this is something that speaks to you, reach out to me here.

In love and light,


Dec 042016

merry-christmas-from-bondassage-blissBlessings and good cheer to all for this holiday season. The time has come again, the moments we set aside for connection with family, good food, and celebration of all the year has brought. Time to tap in to our gratitude for the things we have and look forward to another year.

Let’s all remember to pamper ourselves and fit in a relaxing moment or two. As beautiful as the holiday season can be, it can also spin us around quite a bit. In the midst of family chaos and gift-gathering, we all need some time to give back to ourselves. And it feels like his year has been a bit more chaotic than most, with lots of irons in the fire and not enough time to bring them all to fruition. Plenty of growth, and many opportunities to learn to flow with the unexpected events of life.

Bondassage Bliss has been expanding through the year, finding its balance point and opening me and others to new realms of sensuality. I’m excited to be holding several Bondassage training sessions over the course of the following year. These trainings offer the gift of adventure and the opportunity to explore new avenues of pleasure. Bondassage trainings help you to connect with your sensuality and deepen your relationship, to learn the art of both pleasuring and being pleasured in ways you never imagined possible. This training is perfect both for a personal exploration into tantric BDSM and to become a practitioner, sharing the gift of sensuality with others on a professional level. I’ve posted training dates on the website and you’re welcome to message me if you’d like to discuss individual training.

Another new service I’m excited to share is the lockup. This is an opportunity to surrender and completely relinquish control, to experience sensual punishment, or to completely de-stress and enjoy solitude. The lockup session caters to the individual; what you get is exactly what you need. I am honoured to hold this sacred and healing space of total lockdown, and it has worked wonders for those who have received this experience from me. I will be offering a one hour session up to and overnight sessions.

You will see them featured on the website in the beginning of the year.

Most of all, I’d like to offer a thanks to the wonderful clients and playpersons who have shared experiences with me over the year. I feel privileged in helping each of you explore your desire and sensuality, helping you connect with your wild sensual side and surrender into depths of new excitement. Most of all, I’m honoured by the trust you have shown in opening so deeply, in allowing me to hold this space of vulnerability and pleasure.

My hope for the coming year is to open deeper into my own being, to step into the flow of life, explore all of those aspects of myself which call for attention, and live the fullest experience I can. What are your wishes this holiday season? Your deepest desires? And will you give yourself permission to explore them?

Sexy, sensual holidays to you all.