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Jun 012017
 

This is a topic that’s close to my heart, one that I’m glad to be able to share with you.  One reason is that on the surface, tantra and BSDM might be seen as completely different ways of exploring ourselves and our sexuality.  Another is that there’s a hunger for this knowledge in the BDSM world, a desire to understand how to take our play further, how to make it whole, healing, and spiritual.

When kink is brought up, it might conjure images of whips and chains, or more extreme forms of power play.  And tantra, though also associated with sex, might seem even more mysterious and taboo.  Where is the intersection point?  Are they even related at all?

In a word: yes.  Intimately.  BDSM and tantra are both deep explorations of ourselves, ways to unlock our sensual, sexual natures.  They each help us to move past the surface values of life and bring in more energy, more awareness, more expansion, and more bliss.

The key is feeling.  Really feeling.  Getting out of our heads and into our bodies, tuning in to the subtle levels of sensation and energy that race through our beings.  Tantra tends to explore this from the level of energy.  Breath, sound, and motion.  How energy builds and moves within us, and how to move with it.  And to do this, we need to surrender.  To truly let go, and to allow the body, the sensation, and the feeling to guide us.  And, once we can surrender and tune in, we begin to tap into a level of vitality, joy, confidence, and authenticity that we never expected possible, and one that extends to every level of life.

And what about BDSM?  It’s a process of surrender.  It’s a way to play with all levels of sensation, building energy and feeling in the body.  We play with all forms of touch – strokes and feather-light touches, light to hard strokes, temperature, pressure of all forms and varieties, different sensations over the entire body.  Kink and sensory play give us the opportunity to touch consciously, directed by the energy, tuned in to one another and to the sensation on the deepest level.

One of my favourite ways of working with this is through Bondassage.  Restraints play with trust and surrender.  They help us to let go, to drop all thought of performance and simply be with the feeling.  Any form of restraint with a loving, conscious partner can be deeply healing, allowing us to move past the chronic need to do and control, helping us to drop fully into the present moment.  Blindfolds allow us to release the need to see, the need to know what’s happening and to engage on a mental level.  The receiver’s awareness is brought to the sensations rising within and playing across the body, no need to act, to perform, to plan, to do.  Surrender and feel.  Just Be.

Also, any form of BDSM is just as much an art of presence for the conscious, caring giver as it is for the receiver.  To provide amazing sensual experiences to a partner, we have to tune in to them on the deepest level, to follow the energy within ourselves, and to observe how it moves within them.

This is the core of tantra.  It is an exploration of our energy, unlocking feelings, expanding awareness, coming into the moment, and following where it leads.  Dropping out of the mind and into the heart, into the body.

Any time we listen within, tuning into the sensation and allowing ourselves to move with it, we are stepping into a tantric way of being.  We are tapping into our subtle energies, our Shakti force, our Chi, the creative force at the core of our beings. This is a deeply healing and vitalising experience.  It’s a movement beyond form or expectation and into an exquisite, organic dance of energy, feeling, and life.

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