I recently had a friend ask if I ever mix BDSM and Tantra. I realised that this is a great question, and one that I wanted to explore further with my clients and readers. On the surface, it might seem like an unlikely pairing. Tantra is connected with spiritual sexuality, while BDSM is more about the kinky stuff, right? Well, they both go a bit deeper than that.
First, to dispel a few common misconceptions, Tantra isn’t only about sex. It’s a practice of awareness. It’s about breathing, feeling, and being present to our experience in the moment. It’s about being conscious to our experience, to turn off the autopilot and wake up to where we are right now. That means dropping the mind, as well. Letting go of stories and expectations, ideas of performance and roles. Tantra is about tuning in to our body’s energy as we experience life, about deepening that experience with every breath.
Tantra is a lifelong practice, and one that I bring into everything I do in life. It’s like a process of living meditation – slowing down, staying present, paying attention to the details, and above all using the breath to bring more consciousness into each moment. I practice tantra when I’m walking, when I’m sitting, when I’m talking with a friend or lying in my bed at the end of the night. And, of course, when I offer my Bondassage and BDSM sessions.
Attention to details is key in a Bondassage session. It’s important to make sure that the receiver is safely bound. Secure without being uncomfortable, nothing too tight, and making sure that they have some movement. It’s important to tune in to them beforehand, to make sure that they have no injuries and that they are bound in the right way for them.
This awareness has to be maintained throughout the session. Whether it’s Bondassage or any other form of BDSM play, the key to a phenomenal experience is being present in our actions. When someone receives a Bondassage session, they are in a deeply vulnerable space. Trust is essential. And for the receiver to relax and trust, I have to be fully conscious of how I’m touching, when, where. I have to keep tuned in to their breath and read their subtle body movements. This is how I make sure to make the session all about the receiver, about where they are and what they need right then.
Doing Bondassage right is an art. It’s a symphony of sensation, a conscious interaction with a living awareness. This is Tantra at its very core. Even when we get moving faster, it’s about being in the moment and ever present.
So, a little encouragement for my readers who are interested in exploring Tantra more deeply, try to give yourself some regular check-ins. Try to remind yourself a few times a day to pay attention to your breathing, to feel into your body, the sun on your face, the breeze through your hair. Try to drop into the present. And, the next time you’re getting hot and heavy with your sweetie or in the middle of a sensual massage, see if you can drop into the feeling and follow the energy.
In love and light,