While some of the more extreme forms of dominance and submission are about going beyond a person’s limits, the guiding principle for most bondage enthusiasts is ‘safe, sane and consensual’. That means respecting your partner’s limits and setting up a verbal cue for if things get too much.

Why use a safe-word?

Surely we can just shout ‘stop’ or ‘no more’ if we’ve had enough, right? Well sometimes during sexual experimentation, we can say ‘no’ or ‘stop’, when we really mean ‘don’t stop’. It can be part of the ‘character’ we’re playing to seem to struggle and resist, when really we want more. A safe-word that won’t normally come up during communication enables you step out of your roles and call a halt.

The best safe-words to use

It’s really important that both Dom and sub have a previously agreed ‘safe word’, for if things suddenly shift from feeling hot to feeling horrible. Any word that wouldn’t normally come up is fine, but the most common safe-words are based on traffic light signals. So if you want to really encourage your partner, you can shout ‘green!’. Where the action has suddenly become borderline, you can say the word ‘amber’, and when it really is too much, saying ‘red’ is an instant signal that you want to stop and step outside the scenario. These are also the ‘default’ safe-words that are most widely recognised by dungeon masters.

Non-verbal safe-words

What about if a person is bound and gagged? Obviously, then a safe-word becomes a little more tricky — so in this case, a signal like dropping a bell or ball, snapping the fingers, opening and closing the hands repeatedly or making three clear and rhythmic grunts can be clear signs to stop or slow down. Sometimes a Dom will also put a finger in a sub’s hand to check they’re ok. A quick squeeze of the finger means ‘fine to continue’.

Communicate!

As with most sexual practices and dynamics, communication is a key part of safe, sane and consensual bondage. Take the time to agree your boundaries via a safe-word before embarking on your bondage journey, and you’ll give yourself the best chance of enjoying the experience and exploring your limits, without moving beyond them.

You may not be too familiar with the name, but Bondassage is the latest in indulgent sensation play, and it’s set to transform the world of erotic massage. This kinky massage offers a ‘taster plate’ of unusual sensations, light flogging and simple bondage techniques — and it’s often described as the ideal introduction to the bondage scene.

Why Bondassage?

If you’re a beginner to the world of S&M, Bondassage is a great place to begin your journey — and If you’re looking to safely explore your desires and boundaries, Bondassage is the experience you’ve been waiting for.

This massage is designed as an introduction to the art of S&M — and while it’s not extreme enough to leave any marks or scars, Bondassage promises to take you off the beaten path, on an arousing journey into new territory.

Surrender, explore and be vulnerable

Liberation through constraint is something many of us are curious about. My own Bondassage clients include men, women and couples of all ages — and I believe it’s no coincidence that they’re often high achievers, who regularly feel the weight of expectation and pressure to perform. Their experience is much-needed time out from those stresses and strains, and an opportunity to surrender, explore, be vulnerable, go deep inside their bodies, and forget their everyday selves for a while.

What happens in a session?

In a Bondassage session, you’ll experience both sensory deprivation and sensory overload. First you’ll be lightly bound to my comfortable massage table. Next I cover your eyes with a blindfold, and your ears with headphones, playing soft, sensual music. Then we’ll begin to explore sensation, as my warm, experienced hands knead, stroke, tickle, spank and more. As part of the experience, you’ll also be stimulated with delicious props like fur, feathers, crops and floggers.

During a session, all kinds of feelings and emotions can come up. People often report feeling a rush of endorphins, similar to a ‘runner’s high’, and the experience can take you into what’s called a subspace. Here, time slows down and you enter a meditative, trance-like zone. Your mind is stilled and your body feels alive and more responsive than ever before.

Book a Bondassage session with Taranga

If you’re a novice to S&M, and interested in having a 50 Shades of Grey experience of your own, why not schedule a Bondassage session with me?

Book your session today.

What is Bondage?

Bondage is a practice that’s captured our imagination for eons. 50 Shades of Grey may have put bondage firmly on the radar in recent times — but people have been experimenting with boundary-pushing sex for a long time before the record-breaking erotic novel came along. In fact, there are frescos depicting erotic flagellation dating as far back as the 5th century BC!

What’s bondage about?

There’s no denying that bondage is a source of intrigue and fascination at the moment — but what’s it actually all about? Essentially, bondage focuses on the dominant/submissive form of sex, where one partner takes control, and the other submits to their every desire. It also often includes role-playing, restraint and a whole range of other kinks, often acted out in a ‘play,’ a ‘scene’ or a ‘session’.

Why does it feel good to surrender?

Sexual submission and domination is something many of us are curious about — especially if we’re often expected to take responsibility and shoulder the burden in other areas of our life (such as in work, or with family). Playing the role of leader all the time can be exhausting, and that’s where the S&M and bondage scenes can be such liberating experiences. Enabling us to step outside the normal everyday boundaries and escape our routines, bondage offers us the opportunity to experience what it feels like to really let go, and to totally surrender control.

What’s BDSM?

Bondage falls into the category of BDSM (short for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism), which can include all kinds of mind-boggling practices. From spanking and restraints to cock-and-ball torture, wax play and golden showers, BDSM pushes the boundaries to create all kinds of physical, emotional and psychological responses. And whether you’re into cross-dressing, extreme body modification, latex or animal costume roleplay, there’s something for every sub-culture in this scene.

The many sides to bondage

You might be surprised to hear that bondage isn’t always about dingy dungeons, and sinister, degrading sexual practices. There’s actually a huge array of different practices and styles to choose from — and if you’re a bondage virgin, you don’t necessarily need to start off by vacuum wrapping yourself in plastic like a Christmas turkey before applying an electric shock to the genitals!

Bondage-Lite

Bondage isn’t always about pain. It’s actually focused on power and pleasure in equal measure, and as a novice, there’s nothing wrong with just dipping your toe in and see how it feels, before venturing further. For the beginner, there’s a perfect way to test the waters — and that’s through an amazing form of bondage-style massage called Bondassage.

Find out more about Bondassage here.