by André Karwath

Every different tool offers its own unique sensation, from floggers to fur, feathers to scarves. Sensation play is an opportunity to let your creativity flow and see what happens. And you don’t need to spend loads of money on your play—you can find heaps of interesting and fun sensation tools around the home. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

1. Silk Scarves

The silk scarf is a beautiful and versatile Bondassage tool. One way you can bring it into your play is as a blindfold. Take your time and be sensual with the scarf when blindfolding your partner, allowing them to feel the sensation of the material. Or you may drape the scarf up and down upon your lovers skin, gliding it along the body, allowing them to feel the sensation of the silk scarf to excite and arouse.

2. Combs or Forks

You might not have considered these as exquisite sensory tools, but a fork or comb brushed along the skin can be incredibly exciting. Try these along the inside of the thigh or down the side under the ribs. A subtle touch can drive your partner wild. These tools can bring the attention into a fine point and heighten the senses. The fine points can tease your partner and get them ready for hotter play.

3. Chocolate and Fresh Fruit

The use of taste for erotic pleasure is often overlooked, but it can add a beautiful spice to the Bondassage session. You can start by using them for sensory play, like sliding a moist grape against the nipple or along the sensitive skin of the lips. Take your time and enjoy these lush sensations, and remember that offering tastes of food can be highly erotic for some people. Little nibbles between sexual talk or sensual touch can increase arousal immensely. You can also tease your lover by rubbing or drizzling tastes onto their body, and then licking them off, honey or dripping chocolate for example. Anyone hungry?

4. Fur and Feathers

Brushing fur or gliding a feather against the naked skin brings in a luxurious and exotic feeling. These light sensory tools can be extremely erotic. Fur and feathers feel amazing when stroked along any area of the body. Bringing them into the play can heighten sensitivity and bring your lover fully into their body. Subtle strokes can be some of the most delicious sensations.

5. Paddles, Crops, and Floggers

Sensory deprivation is a part of the Bondassage session, as well as light restraint and sensory play, but some people like a bit more intensity. Bringing spanking into the play can ramp up the passion in a heartbeat. They make a beautiful counterpoint to the lighter forms of sensation like fur and feathers, and bring a variety of different feelings into the sensory play. A light cane or paddle can bring in a sting, a superficial pain that bites or tingles, increasing circulation to the skin and waking the senses up. This is a great warm-up to get your lover ready for more intensity.

These are just a few of the sensory tools you can use to excite, tease, arouse, and delight your partner. Have fun with it! Take a look around the house and see what you come up with. Sharing a hunt around the house with your partner can be an erotic bit of foreplay in itself. Get creative. You’ll discover a treasure trove of sensation and hours of delicious play.

Relationships are as unique as the people that form them.  No two are alike.   We all have different needs, desires, boundaries, and goals.  Our relationships are a reflection of our own personal needs, which is why we seek someone we are compatible with.  Even though every single connection is individual, we all share certain needs and desires.  There are things we all need to be fully met in relationship, and these things form the foundation of any healthy connection.  These may be simple, but they are the keys to happy relating.

1. Respect

No one is perfect, but everyone has something beautiful to bring to the table.  In order for a relationship to be healthy, you have to respect your partner’s views, feelings, thoughts, and needs.  And it’s a two-way street.  Having respect for one another in the relationship is the foundation of trust. If there’s no trust, it won’t last.

2. Sharing your feelings without fear

When we respect one another’s feelings, we move into a space of acceptance.  A healthy relationship allows each partner to share their feelings without worrying about how the other will respond.  Leaving things unsaid, even if it keeps things smooth in the moment, is sure to allow the relationship to sour.  If we are afraid to say what we feel, the distance between us grows.  And sharing those uncomfortable bits actually helps the relationship to deepen.

3. Authenticity

Authenticity means being real.  It means being open and honest.  We all need to have honest and clear communication.  And there are times when this is hard, when we feel uncomfortable “going there.”  But if you don’t they won’t.  Lies and half-truths create distance in a relationship.  They keep us apart from one another.  Lack of open, honest communication is a sure way to kill even the most beautiful connection.

4. Attention and Consideration

Being in a relationship is all about really connecting.  It’s about sharing time, attention, and care with your loved one.  I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m not seen and heard.  Do you?  Life can get busy and we all have times when there’s a lot on our plates, but if we aren’t sharing time and giving one another attention, we’re on the road to no relationship at all.  If you want your love to last, make it a priority.

5. Trust and Personal Responsibility

Trust is essential in any healthy relationship.  We have to know that our partner cares and that they’re willing to do what’s best for us.  This opens the door for trust.  And if you want to receive it, you have to be willing to give it.  This means taking responsibility.  We each have to make a commitment to honoring our partner and doing what’s necessary to keep the bond strong.

Relationships are living, growing things.  They are delicate, able to be created or destroyed with a single decision.  They take work.  Love alone is not enough to keep a bond strong.  We also have to have a willingness to nurture the connection and keep it alive.  Loving connection requires care and tending in order to stick around, but the benefits of a healthy relationship far outweigh the costs.

So it’s time to ask yourself, do you have these things in your relationship?  Are you willing to do what it takes to keep love alive?  And is your partner just as willing?  Are you both taking responsibility for keeping the love strong?

Bondage rope is a love tool that is associated with many intriguing concepts – the damsel in distress, the restrained superhero – that send the pulse racing with excitement. Knowing how to select and use this lovely piece of equipment in your own boudoir will bring the particular magic of a braided coil right into your hands…or around them, as the case may be!

Discover Your Sensations

If you’ve never played with or experimented with rope in a sensual way, you probably think of it as being rough and scratchy like twine, or smooth and plastic like boating line. In reality, there are a delightful number of bondage ropes made especially for the sensual arts, with materials, construction and even colors created to appeal to the senses. Two of the most popular types are jute – made from the plant of the same name – and hemp, which is created from non-THC bearing (non “drug”) marijuana plants. Other more exotic options include bamboo fiber rope, silk rope and manmade nylon rope, the latter of which can even be purchased in a glow in the dark form. All of these are available in different diameters ranging from twine-thin to 5 millimeter clothesline rope and larger, and can be easily and discreetly purchased from online retailers.

Safe, Satisfying Play

Rope is a wonderful addition to an adult bedroom collection, but certain rules need to be followed to ensure it is used safely. The person doing the tying up should be aware of dangerous constriction points – never tie a loop around the neck, for example – and have a quick way of removing the rope if there’s trouble, such as a pair of scissors or knife capable of easily cutting away knots or complicated ties without putting the “wearer” in danger of cuts or punctures. In general, many rope enthusiasts follow the “two finger” rule for safe blood circulation during a tying session: you should be able to easily slip two fingers in between the rope and the restrained individual’s skin. Remember: always communicate with your partner before trying out new toys, and keep in constant contact with their state of well being throughout your playtime – this will eliminate a great deal of potential issues.

Care and Keeping of Bondage Rope

Like fine leather bondage toys or clothing, bondage rope must be carefully stored between uses to maintain good flexibility and a long lifespan. Periodically using a manufacturer-specified oil to condition the rope, or tying the rope in a pillowcase and tossing it in with a mild detergent in the washing machine on a gentle cycle will help prolong its new look and feel. Store rope in a ‘hank’ by using a figure 8 tied around itself. Additionally, keep the ends away from curious pets and children, who may accidentally unwind the braid.

If you want to experiment with rope but feel a little nervous, ask a bondage or sensuality professional to help you choose a beginner set, or have them tie you up to experience rope firsthand. There are pre-made rope cuffs on the market, as well as lavishly illustrated books and videos that can help you learn the art of bondage rope knots and ties. Bondage rope is fun, exhilarating and exciting – once you pick up your first coil of rope, you may never want to put it down!

For many of us, our first initiation into bondage play is via spanking. A bit of playful spanking is often seen as no big deal, and it can be a regular part of most people’s sex lives. But there’s a lot more to spanking than just whacking your partner’s bum without much thought or attention. When spanking is done sensually and seductively, it takes on a very different quality. Learn how to spank properly and you’ll transform a quick swat-on-the-ass into something much more erotic.

Assume the position
First, pick a position that feels comfortable for you both. The spankee can lie across the spanker’s lap, position themselves on all fours, bend over a chair or stand up against a wall. Find a pose that feels naughty, or inviting, or sexy. Experiment and find out what works for you.

Warming up
It’s really important to warm up those cheeks before going in heavy-handed. Don’t go too fast, or too hard, as you can cause a lot of pain. Start soft and build up. A couple of light swats with the palm of the hand will warm the area up nicely. Your aim is to make the bum turn a very light shade of pink, increasing sensitivity in readiness for a firmer spank. Throw in a couple of caresses and rub the area after your warm-up strokes. Experiment with different types of strokes to build sensation up slowly.

Check in
Yep, you guessed it — communication is as important here as it is with most forms of bondage. Check in with your partner as you go, and find out how firm they like it. Try and read their body language. How much are they tensing up? Are they making sounds of pleasure and enjoyment? Is it alright with them to move from using your hand to a paddle or riding crop? Ask for feedback as you go, and don’t surprise them with something too intense without making sure it’s ok first.

Spanking toys
If you’d like to incorporate toys, there are a vast array of crops, switches and flogging tools to experiment with. The trick with all of them is to slowly build the intensity, and aim for the ‘sweet spot’, usually found on the lower parts of the cheeks. Go gently on the back of the thighs, and always avoid the backs of the knees, tailbone and spine. Some more advanced spankers target the genitals, but avoid this area too, unless you really know what you’re doing.

Power dynamics
It can often be daunting to feel that you’re inflicting pain on your partner — even in an erotic scenario. If so, keep it light and fun, and focus on the playful aspects of spanking, at least to begin with.

Spanking can be a fascinating way to play around with gender dynamics, make yourself vulnerable and experience what it’s like to be a dominant woman, or a submissive man. It can be as innocent and playful, or as boundary-pushing and forceful as you want to make it. Just figure out what aspect of it you’re interested in exploring, and work together to make it happen!

Introducing everything you ever wanted to know (but were too scared to ask) about the world of BDSM — along with some practises you’ve probably never even heard of before!

A is for Animal Play. This isn’t about bestiality — it’s actually the act of dressing up or acting like an animal, such as a dog, cat or horse.

B is for Butt Plug. This is a device similar to a dildo, only it has a flat base, making it ideal for insertion into the anus.

C is for CBT, or cock & ball torture. It might bring tears to your eyes just thinking about it, but for some, CBT can be highly arousing. Practises can range from tickle torture to flogging, electro-stimulation, squeezing, smacking, punching and even kicking.

D is for Dom — a word that describes the person on top or in control in a bondage scenario (a ‘sub’ is the person in the submissive role).

E is for Endorphin Rush. Endorphins are the chemical ‘highs’ people often report experiencing during some of bondage’s more intense practices.

F is for Figging. It sounds bizarre, but figging involves the practice of inserting a piece of ginger root into the anus or vagina to create a burning sensation — which some people actually enjoy! Go figure.

G is for Gunplay. Yes, there’s actually a scene that uses simulated (or even real) guns as part of a bondage fantasy. Seems there’s no limit to some people’s kinks!

H is for Humbler. This is a testicle cuff device that clamps around the scrotum to restrict a sub’s movement.

I is for Infantilism. This is a kind of role-play fetish, often involving men dressing as babies in nappies, while a Dom plays the role of parent.

K is for Kink. Bondage incorporates all kinds of kink practices. From medical role-playing to watersports, wax play to erotic electro-stimulation, there’s a kink that caters to every imaginable fetish.

L is for Limits. We all have them, and in bondage, it’s ok to say enough’s enough — which is usually done via a safe-word.

M is for Mummification. In this practice, a sub is bound and gagged, either using bandages or duct tape. Find yourself an experienced practitioner if you want to try out this one!

N is for Nyotaimori. This is a scenario where a person is decorated as a human sushi platter for a party to eat sushi rolls and sashimi from.

O is for Outfit. From skin-tight leather, rubber and PVC outfits to fluffy animal costumes, the only limit is the imagination.

P is for Paraphilia. This describes intense sexual arousal to unusual objects, situations or people. Bizarrely, one woman recently actually got married to the Eiffel Tower!

Q is for Queer, an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities that are not heterosexual, hetero-normative or gender-binary.

R is for Riding Crop — one of the favoured tools of the bondage trade, a riding crop creates a satisfying crack when applied to a bare behind.

S is for Sadomasochism. This describes more extreme play involving a sadist (who enjoys inflicting pain) and a masochist (who enjoys receiving).

T is for Tickling. At the other end of the spectrum, tickling is at the light and fluffy edge of bondage — though some might still describe it as torture!

V is for Vanilla. Often used mockingly to describe a person or practice outside of the bondage scene.

W is for Wax Play. Here, hot wax is dribbled from a candle onto a sub’s body to create intense sensations that some find highly pleasurable.

Y is for Yellow. It’s a well-know term describing watersports — but it’s also safe-word code for ‘this is borderline’ (with ‘green’ meaning ‘keep going’ and ‘red’ meaning ‘stop!’).

Z is for Zipper — a slowly-released zipper can be a hugely erotic sensation for anyone wearing a skin-tight leather, rubber or PVC outfit.