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Livening Up Your Love Life with Conscious Kink

Apr 012016
 

nudeKink is exciting. It can spice up an already juicy sex life, and bring a spark back into the bedroom when the fires have been growing dim. Many couples are interested in exploring how BDSM can rev up their sexual experience, but it can be hard to know where to start. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that kinky sexual play is wrong, or it’s the sort of thing that “other” people do. Even when both partners are curious, the subject might not come up because both feel afraid to talk about it or unsure how to broach the subject. So here are a few tips for those of you who want to bring more excitement into the bedroom, while showing your partner you respect and value them.

1. Communication

One of the biggest obstacles to a truly fulfilling relationship is a lack of communication. This is even more true for developing and maintaining a really juicy sex life with your partner. If you want to bring kink into the relationship, you have to begin with a firm foundation of trust and respect. Be open to what your partner has to express. Open up the conversation to hear about their desires and fantasies. You may be surprised at what comes up, and it’s guaranteed to be exciting. There’s nothing more sexy than being heard and accepted when you’re sharing your deepest and most vulnerable desires. Kink doesn’t need to be a joke, and there’s no reason to fear it or be embarrassed by it. In fact, it is a bonus in a healthy love life, something that can bring the heat back into the bedroom when things have gotten a bit stale. When you open up and share with your loved one, you open the door to a whole new world of exploration and excitement.

2. Do Your Homework

When you take the first step into unknown territory, things can get a little clumsy. While a bit of feeling it out is necessary when exploring the frontiers of conscious kink, one of the biggest mistakes people make is trying to bring kink in without really knowing what they’re doing. Kink isn’t something you parrot from what you’ve seen in porn movies. Many of us have a distorted understanding of BDSM and sensory play from things we’ve seen on TV or heard from others, and many of these things are exaggerated or misrepresented.

S&M sessions, when done respectfully, are agreed upon in advance. They are respectful of the comfort levels of both individuals, and done with the absolute consent of the submissive, the partner that relinquishes control. In reality, the sub, or submissive, actually controls the experience. Furthermore, respect and loving attention in BDSM means providing aftercare to the sub to allow them to return from subspace gracefully and gently. These are just a few details that everyone should be aware of before stepping into kinky play, but don’t stop there. There are a number of books that give solid and clear details for every aspect of BDSM. In fact, perusing the material with your lover can be a beautiful introduction to sensory play. Here are a few to get you started:

3. Take it Slow

One of the most common mistakes made when people first step into the world of sensory play is to rush straight into experiences that your partner isn’t prepared for. Even the subtlest edge of kink can be incredibly for those who haven’t dipped their feet into the pool, and bringing out the big guns can be pretty intimidating when it’s your first time. Start slow, bringing a little touch of spanking here, a bit of bondage there. Work your way into it so that you and your partner are on the same page, eager to explore whatever level of sensory play that both of you are comfortable with. Verbal role-play is a beautiful introduction, and if you’d like to try bondage, work with silk scarves first. Taking it slow lets you adapt to your partners comfort levels and desires, and makes for a much more conscious (and safer) experience than leaping in headfirst.

4. Give Yourself Room to Learn

Many people hesitate to bring in role-play or sensory play because they’re afraid of “doing it wrong.” They might feel silly when they imagine themselves tying up their partner, stepping into the role of dom, or incorporating spanking into the bedroom for the first time. It’s easy to freeze up when we are afraid of doing things imperfectly, not performing up to our imagined standards. The most important thing to remember is that BDSM is meant to be a fun and fulfilling experience for both involved. It’s sexual play, not performance or perfection. Let the feeling be light and easy. It’s all about the connection between you and your lover. There’s no one to impress, and we all need time to grow into the experience. It’s alright to fumble, fart, or otherwise drop the character when it naturally slips. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and let a laugh ease the tension when things come up. The more you can both have fun and play, the more fulfilling the experience will be.

Couples don’t usually start out kinky. It’s something you grow into over time. While some of us are natural sexual explorers, most have been introduced to it by a partner and found it exciting and fun. Introducing sensory play and bondage into the bedroom is often a result of one partner opening up about their fantasies, and the other giving them a chance to indulge in their desires. And if things are done with love, consciousness, and respect, the result is deeply rewarding. The willingness to try new things and step out of comfort zones is the key to stepping into a world of new passion and excitement. The other half of that is respect. Kinky play is a shared experience, a mutual expansion of boundaries and exploration of possibilities. If you’re willing to take the opportunity to co-create new experiences with your lover, you’ll bring a thrill into a good sex-life, and might even rescue one that has run the risk of declining into boredom. Take a chance, and be open to feedback. You’ll step into a new level of satisfaction, excitement, and fulfillment.

Surrender: The Art of Intimacy

Mar 012016
 
Stone wall, photographed by eiffel

Stone wall, photographed by eiffel

Surrender.

What does it make you think of? A battlefield? An argument? In this busy ego-driven world, surrender is a bad word. We don’t give up. We push ahead. Take control. Keep ourselves under control, and try to extend that to every facet of our lives. But what if we’re missing something?

To surrender means to let go. To let that control that we have cultivated to the breaking point slip, and let something else in. This is one of the most powerful lessons we can learn in life, and it’s especially meaningful in the realm of intimacy. Feeling. Emotion and connection. When we maintain absolute control, we can no longer feel. We have built the walls so high, so strong, that feeling can’t break through them. Letting go means taking the first step towards regaining that authentic sensuality and orgasmic tenderness that we all crave.

This can be challenging in relationship, in sexual connection, especially. Each of us has picked up ideas that condition our expectations of sexuality. We try to control our sexual experience, to perform, to conform to these expectations. And the best way to tap back in to real feeling and authentic connection is to practice the art of surrender. Our control is so deeply engrained that we often need help with this. This is where the art of bondassage can be so helpful. It is a practice of surrender in our sexual play, a return to real feeling and real intimacy.

Sexual encounters in the modern era are often a headlong rush to orgasm, role-playing without even realizing that we are doing it. Matching the expectations we project that others have of our performance, cutting off true feeling and playing our part without really feeling it. But we can open to a level of sensation and ecstatic bliss that we never imagined possible. All it takes is to let go.

Bondassage creates a safe space where you can really surrender. You can let go of the expectations, the roles, the projection and the performance. In the process, you open up to feeling. And that is the most exciting thing of all. Sex should be a beautiful, bliss-filled sharing, exciting, spontaneous, and delicious. When you step back and receive, allowing the sensations to play across your body, you reconnect with the self, with the body, with all of the delicate nerve endings, and the orgasmic potential of every cell. You move back to the space where you can share that sense of loving ecstatic connection with your partner, without the games or the numbness.

Once you let go, whole new realms of sensation and excitement open up to you. But letting go takes practice. We have to have the space to open up and let feeling in again. Every time we do it, though, it becomes easier. We connect more and more to the body, drop more of the walls, and move from the habit of control to the delicious surrender that is the foundation of bliss.

Gathering Your Tools: Easy Prep for A Bondassage Session

Feb 012016
 
by André Karwath

by André Karwath

Every different tool offers its own unique sensation, from floggers to fur, feathers to scarves. Sensation play is an opportunity to let your creativity flow and see what happens. And you don’t need to spend loads of money on your play—you can find heaps of interesting and fun sensation tools around the home. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

  1. Silk Scarves

The silk scarf is a beautiful and versatile Bondassage tool. One way you can bring it into your play is as a blindfold. Take your time and be sensual with the scarf when blindfolding your partner, allowing them to feel the sensation of the material. Or you may drape the scarf up and down upon your lovers skin, gliding it along the body, allowing them to feel the sensation of the silk scarf to excite and arouse.

  1. Combs or Forks

You might not have considered these as exquisite sensory tools, but a fork or comb brushed along the skin can be incredibly exciting. Try these along the inside of the thigh or down the side under the ribs. A subtle touch can drive your partner wild. These tools can bring the attention into a fine point and heighten the senses. The fine points can tease your partner and get them ready for hotter play.

  1. Chocolate and Fresh Fruit

The use of taste for erotic pleasure is often overlooked, but it can add a beautiful spice to the Bondassage session. You can start by using them for sensory play, like sliding a moist grape against the nipple or along the sensitive skin of the lips. Take your time and enjoy these lush sensations, and remember that offering tastes of food can be highly erotic for some people. Little nibbles between sexual talk or sensual touch can increase arousal immensely. You can also tease your lover by rubbing or drizzling tastes onto their body, and then licking them off, honey or dripping chocolate for example. Anyone hungry?

  1. Fur and Feathers

Brushing fur or gliding a feather against the naked skin brings in a luxurious and exotic feeling. These light sensory tools can be extremely erotic. Fur and feathers feel amazing when stroked along any area of the body. Bringing them into the play can heighten sensitivity and bring your lover fully into their body. Subtle strokes can be some of the most delicious sensations.

  1. Paddles, Crops, and Floggers

Sensory deprivation is a part of the Bondassage session, as well as light restraint and sensory play, but some people like a bit more intensity. Bringing spanking into the play can ramp up the passion in a heartbeat. They make a beautiful counterpoint to the lighter forms of sensation like fur and feathers, and bring a variety of different feelings into the sensory play. A light cane or paddle can bring in a sting, a superficial pain that bites or tingles, increasing circulation to the skin and waking the senses up. This is a great warm-up to get your lover ready for more intensity.

These are just a few of the sensory tools you can use to excite, tease, arouse, and delight your partner. Have fun with it! Take a look around the house and see what you come up with. Sharing a hunt around the house with your partner can be an erotic bit of foreplay in itself. Get creative. You’ll discover a treasure trove of sensation and hours of delicious play.

Exploring Taboo: 3 Keys to Sexual Bliss and Healing

Jan 052016
 

BDSM

We’re all a bit curious about the shadow side of sexuality. BDSM is the art of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission. Due to the stigmas surrounding it, BDSM has been practiced secretly for centuries. Only now is it beginning to gain some acceptance in more public circles. But psychologists now recognise that the exploration of our taboos and shadow side can lead us to transformation and healing. Not to mention a level of excitement that is hard to find outside of clandestine encounters.

But what is it about domination and submission that has such a profound and healing effect? How can it bring in such depths of bliss and create such a level of self-confidence? More importantly, where can I sign up?

We all want to feel comfortable with ourselves, confident in our sexuality and capable of achieving the heights of sexual ecstasy that some only dream of. What are the keys to making this a reality?

1. Surrender
The key is surrender. BDSM offers the opportunity to surrender, especially in a loving and consensual environment. When we work so hard to maintain control, or focus on performance rather than feeling the subtleties of the encounter, we actually block out the most exquisite sensations. So let’s drop the image and let go of control. Let’s invite our partner and ourselves to explore our deeper and more hidden desires, the juicy and exciting aspects of the sexual encounter that we usually deny ourselves.

2. Trust
It all begins with trust. Communicate to your partner things that you would like to experience. Things that you have fantasised about or even things that have left you a bit curious. No need to hide. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and trust in the bedroom can keep things spicy. Talking about what turns you on can be a turn on in itself, and often leads to some delicious moments. Listening to your partner with an open mind is equally important. It’s always a two-way street. Your partner may bring up something you never expected, an idea that sends shivers down your spine.

3. Take it Slow
For some of us, BDSM might conjure up an image of whips and chains, dungeons and pain, but that’s not what it’s all about. You can get there in some really wild play, but it can be just as exciting to play with some light restraint and delicate sensory play. Blindfolds to keep your partner guessing where the next sensation will come from, sliding a scarf slowly along the body, the possibilities are only as limited as our imagination. And while some flogging or waxwork can be exquisite, it’s best to explore your boundaries slowly, together and with clear communication the whole way along. There’s no rush.

BDSM can bring the spark back into your love life, or turn an already succulent connection into something that knocks your socks off and drives you wild. And the true beauty of this play is how deeply it can bring in trust, both of our partners and ourselves. When we give ourselves permission to explore our shadow side, we learn how to accept ourselves on a deeper level than we ever realised possible.

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5 Things Every Dom Should Know

Dec 032015
 

iStock_000046317946_Medium
Merry Xmas, everyone! The holiday season has rolled around again, and it’s time for celebration, enjoyment, and play on every level. Time to remember the beautiful times you’ve had through the year and make some new special moments.

Here’s my present to you: a few tips to deepen your play and arouse excitement. They may sound simple, but it’s amazing how many doms don’t really get it. So have a look and see if these five tips can transform your play into ecstasy.

1. It’s not just about you.
Being dominant means being in charge. It’s your job to make the choices. But that doesn’t mean making the decisions without consideration. You have to take your partner’s needs and desires into account. Let yourself play, but remember that you need to make it something you both appreciate. Find out what turns both of you on.

2. Presence
We can all use a reminder for this one. Being present means being in the body and in the moment. It means letting go of your expectations and allowing the moment to unfold naturally. That lets us really feel and brings in the potential for true bliss.

3. Fun = Shared Experience
Have you ever had an experience that just left you unsatisfied? This happens when one person takes what they want without giving what their partner needs. When things become one-sided, you lose the depth of fun and feeling that’s possible. But tuning in to your partner’s hidden desires can make the moment exciting and unforgettable for both of you.

4. Imagination can be your enemy
It’s beautiful to play out your fantasies, but stay tuned in to what’s happening. Take a chance and be creative, but watch your partner’s response. This deepens the interaction and lets both of you connect to your excitement and bliss. Being spontaneous can open up whole new realms of feeling. Take some time to explore new approaches while keeping it connected.

5. The limits of sensory play
Touch can be beautiful. And it can be horrible. It’s your responsibility to turn touch into a gift. This means that you have to feel into the needs of your partner in the moment. It only takes a second to turn a night of play into a memory that your partner will flinch at. You’re in charge. Make the choices that make you both smile.

So there you have it. Keep these tips in mind and you’re on your way to connecting to bliss, excitement, and fun.

Happy Holidays and Merry Xmas!

Five Keys to a Healthy Relationship

Nov 012015
 

bondassageRelationships are as unique as the people that form them.  No two are alike.   We all have different needs, desires, boundaries, and goals.  Our relationships are a reflection of our own personal needs, which is why we seek someone we are compatible with.  Even though every single connection is individual, we all share certain needs and desires.  There are things we all need to be fully met in relationship, and these things form the foundation of any healthy connection.  These may be simple, but they are the keys to happy relating.

  1. Respect

No one is perfect, but everyone has something beautiful to bring to the table.  In order for a relationship to be healthy, you have to respect your partner’s views, feelings, thoughts, and needs.  And it’s a two-way street.  Having respect for one another in the relationship is the foundation of trust. If there’s no trust, it won’t last.

  1. Sharing your feelings without fear

When we respect one another’s feelings, we move into a space of acceptance.  A healthy relationship allows each partner to share their feelings without worrying about how the other will respond.  Leaving things unsaid, even if it keeps things smooth in the moment, is sure to allow the relationship to sour.  If we are afraid to say what we feel, the distance between us grows.  And sharing those uncomfortable bits actually helps the relationship to deepen.

  1. Authenticity

Authenticity means being real.  It means being open and honest.  We all need to have honest and clear communication.  And there are times when this is hard, when we feel uncomfortable “going there.”  But if you don’t they won’t.  Lies and half-truths create distance in a relationship.  They keep us apart from one another.  Lack of open, honest communication is a sure way to kill even the most beautiful connection.

  1. Attention and Consideration

Being in a relationship is all about really connecting.  It’s about sharing time, attention, and care with your loved one.  I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m not seen and heard.  Do you?  Life can get busy and we all have times when there’s a lot on our plates, but if we aren’t sharing time and giving one another attention, we’re on the road to no relationship at all.  If you want your love to last, make it a priority.

  1. Trust and Personal Responsibility

Trust is essential in any healthy relationship.  We have to know that our partner cares and that they’re willing to do what’s best for us.  This opens the door for trust.  And if you want to receive it, you have to be willing to give it.  This means taking responsibility.  We each have to make a commitment to honoring our partner and doing what’s necessary to keep the bond strong.

Relationships are living, growing things.  They are delicate, able to be created or destroyed with a single decision.  They take work.  Love alone is not enough to keep a bond strong.  We also have to have a willingness to nurture the connection and keep it alive.  Loving connection requires care and tending in order to stick around, but the benefits of a healthy relationship far outweigh the costs.

So it’s time to ask yourself, do you have these things in your relationship?  Are you willing to do what it takes to keep love alive?  And is your partner just as willing?  Are you both taking responsibility for keeping the love strong?

Time to Think Kink

Sep 022015
 

Taranga, Bondassage BlissNew relationships are always exciting, particularly when it comes to sex – you’re both feeling frisky and fornicating wildly at any opportunity. It is only natural that this level of sexual intensity wanes, but that doesn’t mean a long term relationship can’t have the pleasure of passionate sex and trying something new.

Thinking kink can be a great way of taking your sex life to the next level and increasing excitement, novelty and desire in what may have become a predictable sexual routine. With the runaway success of 50 Shades of Grey, kink has gained mainstream exposure and as a result more and more couples are becoming keen to explore kink and bring sensory play into their relationship, but this is sometimes easier said (or thought) that done.

Communication is Key
Communication, respect and trust are essential in any healthy relationship and especially so when considering broaching new sexual territory and taking a journey of sexual exploration together. Introducing kink into your relationship requires that you and your partner have strong communication skills and are able to communicate clearly what you both want, need and desire within this new context.

One Step at a Time
It is a good idea to take small steps when thinking about introducing kink into your relationship. While you might be ready to jump straight in with a flogger and restraints, this may, understandably be a little overwhelming for your partner!

The key is taking the journey of exploration together, building up familiarity and confidence and experimenting with tools and techniques that allow you to safely and comfortably incorporate kink into your sexual repertoire. Advance gently through feeling the sensations of ropes, being blindfolded and role playing through to whips and restraints – if and when both you and your partner are ready.

If it feels too much to launch into a conversation about wanting to try BDSM with your partner initially, start by suggesting a technique such as Elysium Massage which will allow you to gently stretch your sexual boundaries together before moving further into the world of kink.

Keep it Safe
Keeping it safe isn’t just about avoiding dangerous acts. It is important to be respectful of boundaries and take care of yourself and your partner when enjoying kink and BDSM. Make sure you establish a safe word prior to beginning a session of sensual sex play and that both parties are confident with when to use it – or if one of you is going to be bound and gagged, come up with something that will make it obvious that you need to stop.

Research Reality
Do some research and explore the reality of kink. There is a whole world of kink, BDSM and sex play out there and it isn’t necessarily what you may have seen on screen or read about, which are often not full and accurate representations of reality. In fact some of what is portrayed on screen can be dangerous and not recommended for the novice at home.

Always remember its personal – what works for someone else may not work for you or your partner and this is essentially about enjoyment, so do what feels good for both of you. You’re not recreating someone else’s fantasies – you’re enjoying exploring your own.

Five Myths About BDSM

May 182015
 

BDSM MythsWhen it comes to mainstream attitudes to bondage, kink and BDSM, there’s a lot of misinformation out there. 50 Shades of Grey may have us convinced that BDSM is mostly about handcuffs, blindfolds and getting tied up and spanked – but in truth, there’s a lot more to it than that.

It’s time to bust the five main myths about bondage, domination, submission and masochism. Let’s lay those stereotypes to rest once and for all, so you can understand what this world is really all about, and then decide whether it appeals to you or not!

Myth 1: All ‘doms’ are controlling and abusive
50 Shades received a lot of negative press from the way it presented Christian Grey pressuring the reluctant female lead into trying BDSM, and controlling every aspect of their relationship. In actual fact, kink play is all about consensual experimentation, where both partners are equally willing, and clear boundaries are agreed right from the beginning. The book and the movie present a rather blurry and misogynistic picture of kink play – which is actually a long way from the truth.

Myth 2: BDSM is a ‘fetish’
BDSM is often labeled as a fetish, which paints a picture of it as something a bit weird or deviant – yet there are many different levels of involvement. Yes, some enthusiasts are into some of the more extreme forms of kink play – but many others are more than happy to play around the edges, experimenting only with light spanking, or dressing up, or sensation play. The key is to find the right balance, and understand your boundaries, so that you only explore within your own particular comfort zone.

Myth 3: Most doms had abusive childhoods
Again, this is a stereotype perpetuated by 50 Shades, and it’s presented as the main reason why Christian Grey enjoys controlling his subs – yet childhood trauma is a far from accurate premise for the practice of BDSM, and the vast majority of enthusiasts are perfectly well-adjusted. They’re just kinky because they enjoy exploring!

Myth 4: BDSM is mostly about pain
This is the main reason why most of us shy away from kink play – yet it’s usually less about pain, and more about the power exchange and trust involved in exploring domination and submission. Yes, pain can be an ingredient, but the levels involved can vary dramatically, and most of the time, it’s more about using heightened sensation to get adrenaline pumping through the body, rather than inflicting pain as the end goal. Most importantly, even slight pain can be excluded from BDSM. Sometimes it’s more about the thrill of anticipation – so when a flogger is used to stroke and tease rather than spank, that can be just as exciting for the receiver.

Myth 5: Most men are doms and most women are submissive
This is another wholly inaccurate stereotype, and in actual fact, men are just as (and probably even more) likely to take the role of the submissive. Often, because men feel that they need to take the dominant role in every other aspect of their lives, it can be a fascinating experience to learn to surrender, and experience what it’s like to play the opposite role within kink play.

I hope that’s cleared up some of the main concerns you might have around BDSM! If you’d like to experience a gentle introduction to kink play for yourself, why not book in for a Bondassage session with me, and discover more about this world for yourself.

Realigning With the Rhythm of the Erotic

Jan 302015
 

Bondassage BlissA beat is an interesting concept – it can mean a percussive tap, a pulse and, in creative endeavors like music and artwork, it can even mean a pause for emphasis. It can build a soothing, almost meditative rhythm or it can coax you out of the ordinary into a beautiful, startling expression of surprise and delight. You keep your very own beat with you at all times – your heart – and it guides you consciously, giving you both grace and a comforting familiarity. There are several ways to celebrate the expression of the beat in Bondassage – here are just a few:

Spanking

Filled with sensitive nerve endings and the delectable thrill of unseen movement, light or medium taps by a skilled practitioner to areas like the butt and the backs of the thighs has wonderful results. This playful action stimulates the skin, bringing both a warming blush and goosebumps that further heighten sensations. Much like the percussive “drumming” motions incorporated into traditional massage routines, these beats wake up the body and get the blood flowing.

Flogging or Crops

Using an erotic tool during bondassage offers even more precision, making it easier to match beats of music in both intensity and pace. From soft, silky strokes of mop-like floggers to the sharper, keener bites of a crop or cane, your body will begin to play its own counter-beat of flushes and shivers of delight after each point of contact is made.

Breathing in Afterglow

As you slowly drift back down to earth after a bondassage session, you will likely notice your breath more intensely – the way your chest moves each time you inhale and exhale, your heartbeat slowing down to normal. This is a special kind of beat that helps you reconnect with your body, enjoying your restored and renewed sense of self as you mull over new memories of your uniquely sensual experience. Just as your session begins with beats that awake your senses and tease them into peaks and valleys, it will conclude with gentle pats, strokes and kneads that stands as a beautiful counterpoint to more intense impacts and sensations.

A Beat of Pause and Reflection

In this writing, I am incorporating a pause of silence and reverence for a fellow Bondassage practitioner that was taken from us far too soon. Shannon Williams departed this life on the 20th of January, 2015 from a brain tumor, leaving behind three beautiful sons, a partner, a co-parent and a far-reaching circle of loving friends, peers and family. Life is precious – a beat in the cosmic timeline – and we must live it to the fullest with experiences, love and joy. If you wish to donate to a memorial fund for Shannon, a special account can be found here. 

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Fit to be Tied: The Sensuality of Rope

Dec 012014
 

Sensual bondageBondage rope is a love tool that is associated with many intriguing concepts – the damsel in distress, the restrained superhero – that send the pulse racing with excitement. Knowing how to select and use this lovely piece of equipment in your own boudoir will bring the particular magic of a braided coil right into your hands…or around them, as the case may be!

Discover Your Sensations

If you’ve never played with or experimented with rope in a sensual way, you probably think of it as being rough and scratchy like twine, or smooth and plastic like boating line. In reality, there are a delightful number of bondage ropes made especially for the sensual arts, with materials, construction and even colors created to appeal to the senses. Two of the most popular types are jute – made from the plant of the same name – and hemp, which is created from non-THC bearing (non “drug”) marijuana plants. Other more exotic options include bamboo fiber rope, silk rope and manmade nylon rope, the latter of which can even be purchased in a glow in the dark form. All of these are available in different diameters ranging from twine-thin to 5 millimeter clothesline rope and larger, and can be easily and discreetly purchased from online retailers.

Safe, Satisfying Play

Rope is a wonderful addition to an adult bedroom collection, but certain rules need to be followed to ensure it is used safely. The person doing the tying up should be aware of dangerous constriction points – never tie a loop around the neck, for example – and have a quick way of removing the rope if there’s trouble, such as a pair of scissors or knife capable of easily cutting away knots or complicated ties without putting the “wearer” in danger of cuts or punctures. In general, many rope enthusiasts follow the “two finger” rule for safe blood circulation during a tying session: you should be able to easily slip two fingers in between the rope and the restrained individual’s skin. Remember: always communicate with your partner before trying out new toys, and keep in constant contact with their state of well being throughout your playtime – this will eliminate a great deal of potential issues.

Care and Keeping of Bondage Rope

Like fine leather bondage toys or clothing, bondage rope must be carefully stored between uses to maintain good flexibility and a long lifespan. Periodically using a manufacturer-specified oil to condition the rope, or tying the rope in a pillowcase and tossing it in with a mild detergent in the washing machine on a gentle cycle will help prolong its new look and feel. Store rope in a ‘hank’ by using a figure 8 tied around itself. Additionally, keep the ends away from curious pets and children, who may accidentally unwind the braid.

If you want to experiment with rope but feel a little nervous, ask a bondage or sensuality professional to help you choose a beginner set, or have them tie you up to experience rope firsthand. There are pre-made rope cuffs on the market, as well as lavishly illustrated books and videos that can help you learn the art of bondage rope knots and ties. Bondage rope is fun, exhilarating and exciting – once you pick up your first coil of rope, you may never want to put it down!

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