Most people are at least passingly familiar with the concept of bondage – handcuffs, whips and blindfolds are the trio of tropes that typically spring to mind. In reality, properly done bondage is part art form, part therapy – and it can work wonders to combat everyday stress that builds up in the body and mind.

Comforting, Safe and Personal

Bondage is not a one-size-fits-all pursuit. Some individuals like to be lightly restrained, while others enjoy the “sensory deprivation” type of feeling brought by a firmer constraint. Any level of intensity on the bondage spectrum is equally legitimate and a wonderful way to relieve stress and encourage a feeling of physical and spiritual well-being. A professional bondage provider will discuss your needs as well as special words, gestures, or clear methods of communication (often called “Safe Words”) that give you complete control over when a session stops or ends. They will also discuss any needs, fears or concerns before the session so you can shed your stress without worrying.

A Soulful Expression

Bondage and some forms of percussive play, such as flogging and spanking, work on a physiological healing level as much as a mental one. As your skin responds to certain tactile stimulation, blood rises to under the surface of the skin, allowing it to move more quickly through your body to help filter certain toxins and reduce overall tension. The meditative-like state some bondage recipients experience – often called “subspace” – is described as renewing and awakening, allowing those that experience it to tackle life’s challenges with more energy after the session has ended.

The Benefits of Professional Bondage

For beginners and those curious about bondage, booking a session with a bondage professional is an excellent way to get your proverbial feet wet. A professional has knowledge of the body and is attuned to your desires and concerns from an in-depth assessment given prior to the session. If you don’t like something or would like more of a certain activity, the client-provider relationship offers an excellent communication flow that a non-profession or personal session might not. The tools that your provider uses are all well maintained and cleaned after each session, and are often more exotic and elaborate than the offerings found in a typical bondage beginner’s kit. Your session not only gives you a delightful overall experience, but the added enjoyment of toys such as “vampire” gloves and rabbit mitts that you might not otherwise get to interact with.

If the thought of leather cuffs and the dreamy, sensual experience of truly “letting go” piques your interest, you don’t need to longingly pine after BDSM books and videos. Treat yourself to a decadent experience that’s as satisfying for the mind and soul as it is for the body and schedule a bondage session with a professional. Once you’ve been secured in cuffs and collar and treated to the wonderfully wicked sensation of exotic tools in skilled hands, you’ll wonder why you didn’t try it sooner!

There’s a fine line between humiliation and degradation – but for those who enjoy BDSM, the power-play that’s often so central to this scene can often lead them into this territory. Insults, verbal abuse, mockery, derision and ridicule may seem bizarre practises to the uninitiated – but consider for a moment if you’ve ever, in the throes of ecstasy, enjoyed being given a spank on the backside, or being ordered to submit in some way, or even being called a ‘dirty pig’ or a ’slut’ or by your lover.

Within BDSM, many of these practises and terms can actually be used in a positive way, to bring pleasure. Done correctly, a little humiliation can actually be incredibly hot, for those willing to admit it.

The importance of treading carefully
Yet, there’s a fine balancing act involved here. We may enjoy being insulted in some ways, but hate how other words or actions make us feel. For example, a person may totally get off on being called a slut, but hate being called a ‘pig’.

That’s often because when you remove the culturally negative associations, a slut really is someone who’s sexually free, liberated and open to experimentation. Yet for someone who might be overweight, calling them a pig can be much more damaging. It’s often when a word is used that damages a person’s self-esteem, hits a raw nerve, or is an attack on their person, that humiliation can move into ‘degradation’ territory.

There’s a fine line to navigate when you’re experimenting with erotic humiliation – but done with awareness and sensitivity, it can be an interesting path to follow. Here are a few fascinating examples of erotic humiliation (some of them pretty extreme), courtesy of Wikipedia:

• Verbal humiliation
• Animal play, which describes the submissive as a pet, dog, girl, or bitch. Making the submissive eat and drink from pet food and water bowls.
• Verbal belittlement, with such words as slave, boy, girl, missy, and pet.
• Insults and verbal abuse, such as fat, ugly, stupid, and worthless.
• Degrading names, such as slut, shit, bitch, and whore.
• Racial and ethnic slurs.
• Slighting of body parts and behaviours, such as disparaging or cruel references to breasts, facial appearance, genitalia (including size), buttocks, and slighting of such mannerisms as walking, responsiveness, and standard of self-care.
• Requirement to ask permission for everyday activities, such as going to the toilet, spending money, and eating.
• Scolding of the type commonly reserved for children
• Physical humiliation
• Ejaculating, spitting, or urinating on the submissive’s body, especially the
  face.
• Servitude
• Forced sexual degradation, including such acts as erotic massage, cunnilingus, analingus, and fellatio.
• Displays of subservience, such as lighting cigarettes, walking a pace behind the dominant, speaking only when spoken to, kneeling or prostrating oneself in front of the dominant when expecting orders, eating only after others or on the floor, and low-status place to sleep.
• Body worship, including such activities as kissing or licking the dominant’s feet, boots, buttocks, anus, vulva, etc. to express acknowledgment, subservience, shame, and even positive emotions (such as happiness
  and excitement).
• Deprivation of privacy, which may include the submissive’s never being able to leave the room in which the dominant is present without permission.
• The dominant watches while the submissive uses the toilet.
• The submissive’s being forbidden to leave the house or ‘dungeon’ in general, for the duration of slavery or servitude, etc.
• Erotic spanking, slapping, whipping, restraint, and other BDSM activities (such as cock-and-ball torture (CBT)).
• Dresscode (BDSM): prescriptions and proscriptions of clothing, even in public. For women, a common example is being mandated to wear only bikinis or lingerie. For men, forced feminizing and cross-dressing. Both sexes may be expected to go completely naked, with decorative objects such as collars, diapers, bands, tiaras, and cuffs as the only exceptions.
• Erotic sexual denial, including the use of a chastity device.
• Wearing of external signs of “ownership”, such as collars.
• Public humiliation, in which the submissive’s friends or family, or strangers, are aware of or even witness the treatment.
• Erotic objectification, in which the submissive is used as human furniture, such as a footstool.
• Forced anal penetration, with dildos, anal plugs, and similar objects.
• Cuckolding, a mostly heterosexual fetish in which the dominant woman has sex with a man outside of the relationship while the submissive man may or may not be present. If the man is not present, he might help her choose what clothes to wear when she meets the other man, or they might get together afterward so she can tell him about it, either while having sex or in addition to withholding sex. If the man is present during the cuckolding, he may or may not be allowed to pleasure himself while watching. The cuckolding may or may not be followed by sex between the couple.
• The submissive’s having to ask permission to orgasm during sex or masturbation.
• The submissive’s being forced to wear a gag or restraints on the body.
• Forced masturbation in a humiliating manner.

They may not always portray bondage realistically – but sometimes movies and TV shows do show BDSM in a positive – or at least entertaining – light. Here’s our pick of the top three kinky scenes ever shown on our screens.

1: Secretary

Maggie Gyllenhall and James Spader’s dom/submissive relationship has to be one of the most intriguing and arousing ever portrayed on the big screen. From that famous spanking sequence, to the tender sex scene at the film’s end, this is one movie that succeeds in portraying BDSM without the usual sensationalism or moralising. Check it out here:

2. Secret Diary of a Call Girl

This brilliant series is a frank, explicit and often hilarious account of a high-class London call girl’s exploits, and we love it for it’s non-judgemental approach. This scene expertly depicts Hannah’s transformation from girl-next-door to dominatrix, and the realities of the job. Enjoy!:

3. 91/2 Weeks
It’s got a blindfolded and submissive Kim Basinger, and a bad-boy Mickey Rourke, in one of the most erotically-charged scenes ever witnessed. This scene with a wandering ice-cube caused quite a stir when the film was first released. Here it is again, for your viewing pleasure!

Book a Bondassage session with Taranga If you’re a novice to the world of S&M, and interested in discovering your own kinky side, book your Bondassage session here.